Listening is an art. The ability to listen is a form of discipline and understanding.

In this world, there are many human-to-human conflicts. Most of these conflicts come from misunderstandings. For instance, the messages brought across from the source party may be misinterpreted. The receiving party may not receive the equivalent and similar meaning from the messages being conveyed by the source party. Worse still, most of the time the receiving party never bother to clarify the meaning from the source party.

 

In yourself, your brain may have already been drilling into a subject that had been preoccupied by previous incidents that may have taken place historically. At times, before the next party has even an opportunity to begin conversing the message or discussion, your brain may have begun the communication within yourself. There are many resonances occurred within your brain in that instance. All these resonances have generated (most at times) into negative directives disturbing and interrupting the present messages being received from the conversing party. Hence, how can we listen? Are we listening?

 

People at most times tend to employ the past experiences, judgements, perceptions and sometimes religious beliefs or even at times the prejudices while listening to the messages converse. We love to quickly self-explain the messages conversed. We love to acknowledge the messages conversed is “comprehensive” to us. This is why most of the “conflicts” arose.

 

You must have heard the following phrases:

  1. He/She is not listening to me at all.

  2. He/She does not understand me.
  3. We can never link in thoughts.

Unfortunately, the above common phrases are truthfully true. We are minimally listening to each other during conversation.

Most of the time during a normal conversation, we thought that we are listening and participating well. However, at most times, we are more focusing on our points to be brought across to the other party. A simple example is like a husband communicating with his wife. Although, it may be a simple conversation, we are not difficult to identify the competition within (especially in this modern society). Sometimes the husband seem to have consumed the cactus, the phrases are coupled with thorns. While the wife may be impatient, she loves to participate before the end of conversation. During the period of the conversation, each party are not listening and comprehending each other, instead, they are preparing for their next strike. No wonder within such a conversation, we can see that the rifts between parties are excavated deeper and deeper.

Love to talk but no listening or listening but not comprehending. This is tantamount to cooking a dish with no seasoning, expecting the dish is delicious and sumptuous in your own opinion.

Do Not Listen with the Intent to Reply, but with the Intent to Understand

We must learn to listen. Listening means at the moment, at the circumstance, you must learn to forget yourself (meaning your past experiences, judgements, perceptions, religious beliefs or even prejudices). Only in this situation, you are able to listen attentively. You must not coupled with thoughts, resonant noise, be focused, listening as if this is the last conversation between you or the first conversation when you just met, at that moment, at that instance can you learn to understand the messages fully.

Article written above is mainly understood from the book “AT THE MOMENT, PUT DOWN THE HEART” published by Seashore Publishing (M) Sdn Bhd.